I've had to leave the prestigious Waldorf here in London England, because that resourceful bloak from accounting, Keith Turner, tracked me down somehow, apparently I haven't cashed my pay cheques from AE in 15 months!! Who knew it wasn't direct deposit?!

I'm now on a newly acquired laptop on one of the last flights of the Concorde, on my way to Newyork. I've grown rather fond of hotels with the name Waldorf, so I'm off to the Waldorf Astoria in Manhattan.

I hope my Executive Assistant is taking care of business while I'm on my leave from the company.

I'm writing from London England, I decided that I couldn't give up traveling and that I'd rather be stuck in a mineshaft than not be able to travel....

My dear wife Priscilla slept around while I was slowly dying in Norway, I've shipped her away on a train to Egypt (and she thinks I'm meeting her there). But instead I'm canceling her credit cards, and leaving her there to get back on her own dime! We'll see how she likes spending her own money from now on.

I was so mad when I secretly found out about her debauchery that I left in the middle of the night for Europe without telling anyone. I'm sure my associates have noticed me missing and instituted a world-wide search by now. I'm hiding out at the prestigious Le Meridien Waldorf, where no one will find me.

I just returned from being trapped in a mine shaft in Norway! And I haven't been able to update my weblog! I guess I shouldn't try to help people anymore, terrible things always seem to happen when I do. Luckily the mine collapse wasn't severe and it didn't even make the national news.

Just got back from China, I was in quarantine for a month! I couldn't update my weblog and AE must have almost fallen to pieces! No one found out about my little car accident a month ago. Priscilla is in Rio getting her hip replaced (she fell on her hip from her 3rd floor balcony while drunk on schnapps).

I had an interesting weekend. My poor 2002 Ferrari 360 Modena Spider took a beating, I was laughing at an old man that had slipped on ice on the sidewalk, in my fit of laughter I accidentally hit the button to remove the roof of my car, an icicle fell off a stop light (at Dufferin & Richmond) hitting me in the face and I ran a priest into the side of the Xerox building in my blindness... What an old man, and a priest were doing out and about in the dead of night early Saturday morning was a mystery to me, so I screeched away.

I ran into Tim Thomas while at the hospital. God I hate him, last year at the Chamber of Commerce's annual spring gala he kicked a soccer ball and it hit me in the head, breaking my rimless cartier titanium sunglasses. So I punched him in his stupid nose. And ran out to my car.

I dropped a pencil and it stabbed me in the foot! Off to the hospital >:(

What a drab weekend! Other than my tea luncheon with a local church official at the Regent Exuberant Courtyard Hall, nothing much else has happened. I bought a BMW so I wouldn't be short on cars now that my Mercedes is in the shop, but that has lost its excitement.

Priscillia crashed my blue mercedies into a ditch (again). Luckily I wasn't in the car this time. She's outraged at mercedes-benz, blaming them for purposely making their cars go too fast for their drivers' own good.

I've started a bit of a web log this eve to publicize all the exciting details of my illustrious existance