It's almost Christmas time, and with hardly any family left, I'm a little lonely. Although on a good note, my long lost son Charles made his way back into my life (although mostly for a renewal credit card, as the dates seemed to coincide). I haven't seen him in weeks. Although I have been in Arbua for the past several weeks too.

My grant in that new-fangled energy jazz hopefully is working out without me there spying on every expenditure.

Speaking of spying, the reason for me being in Aruba is strictly confidential, but I can tell you that I'm on the trail of a world-wide conspiracy. A good friend of mine alerted me to some suspicious stuff, so I'm on the trail..

I'm still in Washington, I've been trying to think of crazy inventions that could possibly change the world... I don't fancy myself an inventor, but I want to have more of an effect than I have had in the past. Sure I hobknob with pseudo-dignitaries, but I've never done anything that's had much of an effect the world over..

So to that end I've been working with professor Boyo (mostly giving money) to further the development of a process similar to cold fusion!

here's how it works.

Bad day

It's been a very bad day for me, my 'boss' tried to tell me that if I want to work on the project I had to be in at least 4 days a week. I asked him if he'd like to finish this project on his own without my expertise, he didn't like that, so I'm no longer employed there. Also president bush won, whom I don't care for. I'm off to Washington this evening for a bush celebration party (I won't tell them at the door that I was hoping he'd lose).

Good riddance ING!

It's been a while since my last post. I've been in Toronto for a month or so working at ING Direct (believe it or not). I ran into an old friend and I'm really excited about what they're coming out with! I expect to be back in London in the new year to continue with my 'retirement'.

In other news, my long lost son whom I haven't spoked with in ages has finally decided to talk to his good old pal Dad again. Little Edward (Charles) Jr. finally forgave me for allowing his mother to drown while scuba diving off the coast of Cuba. Certainly it wasn't my fault and I feel terrible for it. She shouldn't have taken the yacht out drunk on rum punches. :(

Republicana Dominican

I'm in the Dominican Republic this week on some undisclosed business.
There sure are a lot of people willing to sex themselves for money!

The symposium was a disaster, there were protesters! Why would people want to protest a clean burning effectively limitless energy? Must have been the oil companies paying bums to protest through a blind party. I'll have to investigate. That's not the only thing that went wrong... We ran out of wine!! Although when you offer unlimited wine to a bunch of crackpots and their jack-ass associates that'll tend to happen. Otherwise I think we got the word out that Cold Fusion isn't a joke.

Cold Fusion

I've always been interested in Cold Fusion ever since that provacative movie with Morgan Freeman and that Keanu guy. So I've been working with witch doctors and crackpot scientists to host the First Annual Canadian Cold Fusion Symposium at the regal Vancouver Convention & Exhibition Centre. The menu is what I'm excited about the most!

The 300+ attending scientific and political dignitaries will be treated to a delightful meal -- Starting with Alaskan King Crab, Local Hotate Scallop and Spot Prawn Saffron Soup, followed by Slices of T Smoked Duck Breast on Frisée Salad with Blueberry Vinaigrette, followed by a tastey Apple Sorbet with Cider Splash, then Grilled Grain-Fed Veal Chop with Chanterelles Potato and Endive Cream with Baby Vegetables, and for dessert Caramelized Choux Pastries with Grand Marnier Cream Filling or Cointreau Chocolate Truffles. The coffee is of the freshly brewed barista variety or imported tea.

This event is tomorrow night, I'll have a report on the conclusion of the symposium. Luckily I don't have to pay for this event all on my own and will mostly be a business expense of Andrew Scientific Enterprises Corporation.

Dr. Wills made it to Athens and turns out the Temple of Zues is off limits to all. According to his report he also ran into Ms. Cross, whom was sleaziness around the authorities blocking access to the ruins, trying to get in. Satisfied that she hadn't found anything yet, and perhaps wasn't working for the enemy, John is returning to Canada. I'm still a little leery. Especially since Charles Winhamthorpe is leering at me through his kitchen window. He apparently didn't forgive me for crashing my car into his pool and then threatening to expose his infidelity to his wife if he sued.

Today is Tuesday. I've been disturbed about Athens ever since my return so I hired a tomb raider named Lara Croft, errr Lanthia Cross is her name, what are the chances? I received a report from her today that she could not find any underground cavern underneith the Temple of Zeus. I suspect that she's in cahoots with my arch enemy Charles Winhamthorp, and they've discovered riches or something beneith there. I've since hired a new tomb raider named Dr. John Wills, who's also my chauffer with an honourary doctorate in international mischief. We'll get to the bottom of this yet!

Greece hasn't fallen into the sea yet, and the ground wasn't shaking when I left, but I'll never go back!

My Entourage and I have quickly departed Athens, and not because of the embarrassing performance of the Canadians!!

I was down at the Temple of Zeus this morning, as I'd never actually been!! (Believe it or not), but the weirdest thing happened that sent me scurrying from Athens, and writing in my bloc from first-class.
I was admiring the Corinthian style of the ruins when I tripped over some stupid fallen pillar (apparently it was blown over in some wind storm 150 years ago) anyway, I hit my scepter on the base of the platform and cracked the marble floor bad enough that a chunk dislodged and fell down below! There was a passageway underneath!!! I quickly called my aide to bring me a flashlight, rope ladder, and a mini pick axe. I broke open the hole large enough to descend into the darkness.


It was a 3 metre drop to the middle of a staircase leading down.. I was very excited for this unexpected turn of events. With my aide in tow we proceeded down the stairs and that's when he turned and ran out of there screaming all the way up the ladder. I thought there might be a monster around the corner so I took out my cell phone and had 911 pre-dialed!! There on the wall were the words in burgundy (and Greek) "He who doesn't heed warnings will know on Aug 26 2004 (Dies iovis xxvi augustus mmiv) the land will be swallowed by the sea and all will perish". I followed my aide up the ladder, checked out of the cruise ship and fled back to North America. Turned out my aide Timothy was just frightened by a huge rat, he couldn't read Greek.

Sharon Stone (who can't direct), started to direct a movie at my newly purchased Historic Windermere House. She's a big smoker as we all know and she managed to raze the whole estate to the ground! I've decided to bulldoze it into the lake and use the insurance money for something else. Illustrious Windermere Park will take the place of the old Windermere House.

In other news, I've arrived in Athens with my entourage of friends. We're staying on the Queen Mary II, due to security concerns. Apparently this boat can detect swimmers approaching in the water!! Wow! This ship is one of the biggest passenger ships in the world (and ever built, if not the biggest), it has 15 restaurants and bars, 5 swimming pools, a casino and even a planetarium! It was a mere $800 Million to build, back in 2003.

I decided to buy the Windermere house in Windermere, Ontario, since my name is Edward Windermere!

It was very expensive. 2.8Million $$$!
(Windermere House)

Fluffles ran away :(
I bought a new cat named Puffles-McCuddlypuff.

My neighbour agreed to drop the charges after I threatened to tell his wife about his late night randezvous while she's off at her Antarctic lab (Halley Research Station).

Why are people so stupid? My neighbour, the worthless Charles Winhamthorpe Jr., is sueing me for driving my car through his fence and into his above ground pool!
If he had an in-ground pool then there wouldn't have been so much damage (to his property).!

I bought a new cat yesterday, named Fluffles the cat.

We got back to Toronto on Tuesday. Priscilla was out maxxing her Regent Platinuum card on cheap thrills. England is always a hoot, too bad about the mugger that stole all of Priscillas jewels and cards. Poor thing was trapped in the rain all the way to the Canadian embassy without a cellphone or luxory!

Canada Day was a hoot in England! Priscilla disappeared somewhere, the harlet! I went to the convent garden to celebrate Canada Day at The Maple Leaf pub! The street was closed off due to the amounts of people celebrating there.

I met some new friends and potentially some profitable business partners from Canada.

We fly out as soon as Priscilla returns from her 'walk-about'. I think perhaps she's caught a bit of the crazy. We're staying at the modest Berkeley Hotel.

A little drug addict stole my car on the weekend. Priscilla and I had to drive back to London in the SAME car! It's Canada day tomorrow, which means I'm flying to England to say hi to the Queen (not literally of course).

This weekend Priscilla and I are off to Forest for a fund raiser for drug addicted children. Why do little drug addicts need money anyways? Doesn't make sense to me!
Sounds like they need less money! And where are they getting it from? There's no jobs in Forest!

Priscilla has returned at long last. She managed to get by on a measly $100,000.00 that she found in her car. We've arranged a divorce for year-end citing irreconcilable differences.

I ended my extended vacation and departed for Canada again at the end of may to see if I still had my old job and house and life.. Everything was in order, although I don't know where Priscella has gone. Hopefully she made it out of Egypt. I have instituted a search for her. My previously destroyed mansion has been repaired in my absence, and minus a few irreplaceable items everything is the same as it was before my lapse.

I tried to go into amnesia





But I felt too old, so I left. I'm about to depart the Balearic Islands, where for yet, I don't know.

I've just now for the first time read my weblog in its entirety. I had a strong urge to delete many entries, especially entries where horrible things were purported to have happened. I must admit that during my decline I used some questionable substances for several weeks which caused me to have severe hallucinations. My chauffeur at the time confirms that none of the atrocities (like running over children) actually happened.

It's a rainy morning here in Auckland, and I've awaken with the chickens. (It's just after 5am here). I'm at the French Cafe, a delightful place with an extensive wine list! Although it is much too early to drink wine, it's even too early for the place to be open -- but I've made friends with the owner, which is the reason for missing my flight. Rachael wasn't interested in traveling the world with me, perhaps I have much more growing up to do?

I've decided to take a last minute trip to Ibiza. I was originally scheduled to fly to Rome, boring old Rome. Perhaps I'll reclaim some of my lost childhood in Ibiza?

I'm deparing Christchurch tomorrow for Auckland, pending departure to somewhere else in the world. I would have liked to visit New Zealand longer, as it's such a wonderous country, too bad about running into that lighthouse...

I've had an amazing time here, seen all the sights, tours, skydove, waterskiied, drank, theatred'd, etc.. I've invited Rachael with me on my next excursion, I await her answer.

I still don't know why it's called Christchurch, there doesn't seem to be more churches here than anywhere else. (or more religious people)...

Christchurch is "The Garden City"... Does any New Zealand city not have a 2nd name?

Here's a picture of a church! (pic)

I've made some friends here. (Although it's easy when you offer to pay for everything).
Jonathan Langer, Jim Waltraud, and Rachael Parco. Unfortunate they seem to always have a hankering for the alchohol. Just this past weekend we all got hammered and decided to drive to the end of the island. We made it to the tip at long last! (pic). (After staying the night at the adequate Harbour House Villa.

Later in the day on Sunday we somehow managed to get into a rental car race (I rented a car for each of us). And this previously historic lighthouse was no more. lighthouse). We fled the scene so I didn't have time to take a picture of the ruined version... down 1 rental car, we decided to flee to the south island, where no one would think to look for us..

Later this week I'll have to tell the rental car company I liked the car so much that I've decided to keep it. My Quantum Platinuum Titanium Diamond Visa should be able to take the hit...

I'm currently in Christchurch, I wonder if it's very religous here...?

I flew into Auckland, New Zealand yesterday! It truely is the city of sails!

I haven't posted anything in quite some time. I'm about ready to rid myself of Alaska, after causing everyone to hate me in this town (Kodiak). I did manage to leave my legacy though. Windermereia Inn, Winery & Ristorante.
Windermereia was the original spelling of my last name, according to some historical records I chanced upon. It might just be the nicest inn/winery/restaurant in all of Alaska! Unfortunately the preliminary financials indicate it a disastrous failure, but I'm confidant my immense wealth can keep it afloat for the rest of eternity.

I depart for New Zealand. I've only been a few times on business, but since the Lord of the Rings movies, I've wanted to see the countryside again!

Apparently the townsfolk don't like their pretty forest cut down. I've received several complaints and an emergency town meeting is scheduled for this afternoon to discuss my purchase.

I've recently departed Bolivia for Alaska. I used to have a penpal when I was a kid from Kodiak Alaska. So I chartered a private jet to fly me there.

A beautiful place (mostly in the summer, I'd guess) since it's all frozen now. Perhaps I'll stay here until Spring, and then buy a yacht and tour the region. Currently I'm in Chiniak, 40 or so miles away from Kodiak. A tiny little town, I'm finding it quite relaxing. I've had a bulldozer tearing down a whole bunch of useless trees so I can build Windermere's Inn. The restaurant here is ghastly http://p.vtourist.com/635495.jpg. The cost is quite prohibitive since it's the dead of Winter.

Madrid was awful, just like everywhere else I ever go, Money doesn't make you happy or not bored.

Since, I've toured South America, to get a bit of a change.
I haven't accidently ran over anyone down here. Currently I'm in La Paz in Bolivia, the city that touches the sky. Near the border with Peru. Unfortunately for some, this is one of the poorest Cities in the world, which is why it's so interesting..

I'm staying at the Columbus Palace Hotel.
hahah it's not a Palace! It's only a 3 star, however, it appears to be the best place in this dive of a town... Private bathroom is apparently a luxory in hotels around here!

I was in the witches market the other day, I had to flee, gagging, back to my Hotel, at the horrors that I witnessed. (Some sort of animal fetuses for sale was the first gag-inducing sight.)