I'm writing from London England, I decided that I couldn't give up traveling and that I'd rather be stuck in a mineshaft than not be able to travel....

My dear wife Priscilla slept around while I was slowly dying in Norway, I've shipped her away on a train to Egypt (and she thinks I'm meeting her there). But instead I'm canceling her credit cards, and leaving her there to get back on her own dime! We'll see how she likes spending her own money from now on.

I was so mad when I secretly found out about her debauchery that I left in the middle of the night for Europe without telling anyone. I'm sure my associates have noticed me missing and instituted a world-wide search by now. I'm hiding out at the prestigious Le Meridien Waldorf, where no one will find me.