!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't been able to post for a very long time!!!

I'm on the run, from what I'm not sure.. My entourage has been all but destroyed, and I'm running out of time! For some reason the airport is closed!
I'm at an undisclosed embassy, but somehow I'm not sure it's safe

I'm back

I've been undercover in the Tibetan hills searching for a long lost artifact, from the 13th century when Genghis Khan pseudo-ruled.

The currency here is the Yuan, which I've converted many US$ to for my adventure..



More soon, we're getting close!!! I can smell it!

It's almost Christmas time, and with hardly any family left, I'm a little lonely. Although on a good note, my long lost son Charles made his way back into my life (although mostly for a renewal credit card, as the dates seemed to coincide). I haven't seen him in weeks. Although I have been in Arbua for the past several weeks too.

My grant in that new-fangled energy jazz hopefully is working out without me there spying on every expenditure.

Speaking of spying, the reason for me being in Aruba is strictly confidential, but I can tell you that I'm on the trail of a world-wide conspiracy. A good friend of mine alerted me to some suspicious stuff, so I'm on the trail..

I'm still in Washington, I've been trying to think of crazy inventions that could possibly change the world... I don't fancy myself an inventor, but I want to have more of an effect than I have had in the past. Sure I hobknob with pseudo-dignitaries, but I've never done anything that's had much of an effect the world over..

So to that end I've been working with professor Boyo (mostly giving money) to further the development of a process similar to cold fusion!

here's how it works.

Bad day

It's been a very bad day for me, my 'boss' tried to tell me that if I want to work on the project I had to be in at least 4 days a week. I asked him if he'd like to finish this project on his own without my expertise, he didn't like that, so I'm no longer employed there. Also president bush won, whom I don't care for. I'm off to Washington this evening for a bush celebration party (I won't tell them at the door that I was hoping he'd lose).

Good riddance ING!

It's been a while since my last post. I've been in Toronto for a month or so working at ING Direct (believe it or not). I ran into an old friend and I'm really excited about what they're coming out with! I expect to be back in London in the new year to continue with my 'retirement'.

In other news, my long lost son whom I haven't spoked with in ages has finally decided to talk to his good old pal Dad again. Little Edward (Charles) Jr. finally forgave me for allowing his mother to drown while scuba diving off the coast of Cuba. Certainly it wasn't my fault and I feel terrible for it. She shouldn't have taken the yacht out drunk on rum punches. :(

Republicana Dominican

I'm in the Dominican Republic this week on some undisclosed business.
There sure are a lot of people willing to sex themselves for money!

The symposium was a disaster, there were protesters! Why would people want to protest a clean burning effectively limitless energy? Must have been the oil companies paying bums to protest through a blind party. I'll have to investigate. That's not the only thing that went wrong... We ran out of wine!! Although when you offer unlimited wine to a bunch of crackpots and their jack-ass associates that'll tend to happen. Otherwise I think we got the word out that Cold Fusion isn't a joke.

Cold Fusion

I've always been interested in Cold Fusion ever since that provacative movie with Morgan Freeman and that Keanu guy. So I've been working with witch doctors and crackpot scientists to host the First Annual Canadian Cold Fusion Symposium at the regal Vancouver Convention & Exhibition Centre. The menu is what I'm excited about the most!

The 300+ attending scientific and political dignitaries will be treated to a delightful meal -- Starting with Alaskan King Crab, Local Hotate Scallop and Spot Prawn Saffron Soup, followed by Slices of T Smoked Duck Breast on Frisée Salad with Blueberry Vinaigrette, followed by a tastey Apple Sorbet with Cider Splash, then Grilled Grain-Fed Veal Chop with Chanterelles Potato and Endive Cream with Baby Vegetables, and for dessert Caramelized Choux Pastries with Grand Marnier Cream Filling or Cointreau Chocolate Truffles. The coffee is of the freshly brewed barista variety or imported tea.

This event is tomorrow night, I'll have a report on the conclusion of the symposium. Luckily I don't have to pay for this event all on my own and will mostly be a business expense of Andrew Scientific Enterprises Corporation.

Dr. Wills made it to Athens and turns out the Temple of Zues is off limits to all. According to his report he also ran into Ms. Cross, whom was sleaziness around the authorities blocking access to the ruins, trying to get in. Satisfied that she hadn't found anything yet, and perhaps wasn't working for the enemy, John is returning to Canada. I'm still a little leery. Especially since Charles Winhamthorpe is leering at me through his kitchen window. He apparently didn't forgive me for crashing my car into his pool and then threatening to expose his infidelity to his wife if he sued.

Today is Tuesday. I've been disturbed about Athens ever since my return so I hired a tomb raider named Lara Croft, errr Lanthia Cross is her name, what are the chances? I received a report from her today that she could not find any underground cavern underneith the Temple of Zeus. I suspect that she's in cahoots with my arch enemy Charles Winhamthorp, and they've discovered riches or something beneith there. I've since hired a new tomb raider named Dr. John Wills, who's also my chauffer with an honourary doctorate in international mischief. We'll get to the bottom of this yet!

Greece hasn't fallen into the sea yet, and the ground wasn't shaking when I left, but I'll never go back!

My Entourage and I have quickly departed Athens, and not because of the embarrassing performance of the Canadians!!

I was down at the Temple of Zeus this morning, as I'd never actually been!! (Believe it or not), but the weirdest thing happened that sent me scurrying from Athens, and writing in my bloc from first-class.
I was admiring the Corinthian style of the ruins when I tripped over some stupid fallen pillar (apparently it was blown over in some wind storm 150 years ago) anyway, I hit my scepter on the base of the platform and cracked the marble floor bad enough that a chunk dislodged and fell down below! There was a passageway underneath!!! I quickly called my aide to bring me a flashlight, rope ladder, and a mini pick axe. I broke open the hole large enough to descend into the darkness.


It was a 3 metre drop to the middle of a staircase leading down.. I was very excited for this unexpected turn of events. With my aide in tow we proceeded down the stairs and that's when he turned and ran out of there screaming all the way up the ladder. I thought there might be a monster around the corner so I took out my cell phone and had 911 pre-dialed!! There on the wall were the words in burgundy (and Greek) "He who doesn't heed warnings will know on Aug 26 2004 (Dies iovis xxvi augustus mmiv) the land will be swallowed by the sea and all will perish". I followed my aide up the ladder, checked out of the cruise ship and fled back to North America. Turned out my aide Timothy was just frightened by a huge rat, he couldn't read Greek.

Sharon Stone (who can't direct), started to direct a movie at my newly purchased Historic Windermere House. She's a big smoker as we all know and she managed to raze the whole estate to the ground! I've decided to bulldoze it into the lake and use the insurance money for something else. Illustrious Windermere Park will take the place of the old Windermere House.

In other news, I've arrived in Athens with my entourage of friends. We're staying on the Queen Mary II, due to security concerns. Apparently this boat can detect swimmers approaching in the water!! Wow! This ship is one of the biggest passenger ships in the world (and ever built, if not the biggest), it has 15 restaurants and bars, 5 swimming pools, a casino and even a planetarium! It was a mere $800 Million to build, back in 2003.