The Chronicles of Edward Windermere.

2011-10-12T16:09:00.001-04:00

Since my last morose post about the state of humankind I've been seeing a futurist/therapist in South America. I return to North America for Yule.

2011-06-26T23:47:00.004-04:00

I can't describe the last many many months, perhaps nearly two years. I've been in a foreign prison for part of it. Luckily it was one for the wealthy. There was a misunderstanding as to the death of one of my associates and I was blamed for it. Without disclosing information on an ongoing civil suit I can say that I'm back in Canada. I've just got back from attending a local food festival with some obligatory friends who I haven't seen in a long time. I sometimes wonder why I associate myself with normal people.

Perhaps because I sometimes get lost in this artificial world that very few people live within. Drowning a coworker at the bottom of the ocean (see Leviathan, it wasn't me), creating life from salt water and a classified substance, creating intelligence from previously discussed fluid. I sometimes think my life would make the best movie ever -- and then I realize that this is all I can do to prevent myself from freezing my self to wake up in a more exciting future. Life is such a snore. Day in and day out we live our lives to please other people (or in some cases God) or advance our own meaningless agendas. No one cares, especially not God.

Sentience was not meant to exist. There is life in this universe, and it's everywhere!!! Why doesn't the rest of the world know this? Why is it only the "privileged"? But there is no other sentience. We will cause the ruin of the universe (at the same time as our planet) because we don't do things small. I've run the numbers, I've seen the data. Geniuses have reported this to governments who have turned a blind eye, and I've been there for it... If there was another sentience in the universe they would be intelligent enough to destroy us for the greater good of the universe itself -- and unfortunately I agree with them.

Back in the game

2009-04-24T13:25:00.002-04:00

My capital shortfall has been temporarily alleviated after selling one of my houses. It certainly is a buyer's market >:(. Let's see how long I can make this $10 million last. In other news I'm still on TOP SECRET missions for commonwealth government(s), the only information I can disclose is that it has to do with deep-ocean power generation. Stay tuned, it's exciting! I'm relaxing this weekend in Niagara Falls at the Marriott Fallsview in the presidential suite (of course). Nice view of the falls though.

ECFW
/JC

From riches to rags

2008-10-06T17:31:00.002-04:00

I always thought my seemingly endless wealth would survive even my ludicrous spending. Alas, I'm out of cash and only have assets with which to borrow against. And of course the bulk of these assets is real estate.

I'm staying at the Mansion at the MGM Grand while I try to sort out my own credit crunch.

Also, during the last 6 months I have been on secret assignment, which cannot be published in a public forum, hence the lack of posts.

ECFW
/JC

The Amazing Water Purifier

2008-03-21T20:18:00.003-04:00

Those who watch Stephen Colbert's show on Comedy last night may have noticed the Segway inventor, and former business acquaintance, Dean Kamen modeling his amazing 'new' water purification system.. Well it could have been me on there, but I'm not much for the public spotlight. I'm not even mentioned in the patent, but my goals have never been wealth. I've already solved that problem -- but so has Dean. I'm content to avoid any legal situations at present, as long as this machine makes its way to those who need it.. I wasn't as interested in the water purification part as I was in its ability to help soften the blow of the impending global energy crisis. We're on the precipice of the void! If Kamen were to mention that this is also has the potential to be a perpetual power machine, he would have been laughed off the stage at the recent TED conference where he unveiled it to the scientific community.

Year update

2008-02-06T10:52:00.000-05:00

What have I done all year, you might ask?

Well.. Without going into too much detail, I can say that this has been one of the most boring years in recent memory. I've tracked down the person who threatened my 'doity nose' in one of the comments -- turns out it was just a prank. I never did find out anything about my Malaysian cabby incident, but have learned my lesson to be much more careful and secretive about my business.

The business of changing the world.

stay tuned.

2007-03-21T13:30:00.000-04:00

Since I've recently been introduced, I'll post this entry from my point of view.

Upon a rude realization that he doesn't have as many friends as he thought here in Western Europe, Edward is returning to Canada. He's left me behind to try to sort out the identity issues that arose during his previous tours. I actually type all of Ed's entries (received via various mediums -- mostly his blackberry). I certainly have no public opinions on his comings and goings, and wouldn't want to jeapordize the best job in the world. I can attest to the fact that he's been wrongdone in these recent matters. I just hope the fault does not lie in my interpretations of his blog notes.

Jonathan L Carroll, BA, M.B.A., B.Sc., B.Comm.
-- jonathanlcarroll (at) gmail (dot) com --

Outrage from all angles

2007-03-21T09:58:00.000-04:00

Apparently I struck another nerve with my claims about touring a controversial alternative energy facility. Enough so that I had to disable automatic comment posting and refer all replies to my associate. Here's the deleted comments with places and names removed.
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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "2007 Update":

Edward,

Interesting to see this post. I am [person] of [place] - I do not know who you are, and [place] does not have any relationship with you, indeed you have never seen our technology.

So what is this all about?

[person]
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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "2007 Update":

Hey mate - you've been busted as a hoax - shamon!

You've got about as much to do with [place] as a block of swiss cheese.

Surely resorting to lies is no way to run a blog.
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MisterMagnetic has left a new comment on your post "2007 Update":

No you haven`t seen the [place] technology.

Wot a TWONKER.............

and yer pants are on fire mate!

:-P
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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "2007 Update":

What a nut job.
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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "2007 Update":

Funny business.
The word [place] is mentioned and
the next moment both [person] and Mark Goldes are posting comments. Why hasn't Cyril Smith posted a comment yet ?
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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "2007 Update":

Edward,
who is [person]?
When did he start to work for [place]?
Is he still working for [place].
Have you got any internet links to
documents written by [person] ?
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numpty McNumpty has left a new comment on your post "2007 Update":

bwaaaa haaa haaa!

What a muppet!

trying to jump on the [noun] bandwagon!

peees off ass wipe!
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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "2007 Update":

We have recently been made aware of a coordinated attack, questioning the content on your blogger site. It would seem appropriate therefore to remind you of the terms of service under which you have subscribed, namely :

[terms of service paste]
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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "2007 Update":

so what say you edward?
seems like you've been found out as
a scam!
shame on you!
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cents_all_over_the_place has left a new comment on your post "2007 Update":

i've read your blog - you seem like a complete nut job to me.

don't you realise [people] are a scam?
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gratefultedster has left a new comment on your post "2007 Update":

so what say you edward?
it seems you have been untruthful.
what say you!
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gratefultedster has left a new comment on your post "2007 Update":

what say you edward?

seems like you are delusional as to your relationship to [people/place].

what say you ?
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Daren has left a new comment on your post "2007 Update":

You've been busted! Check [someone's] own forum out - they've outed you as a [noun]!

[address (no longer valid)]
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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "2007 Update":

Ed removed names becaused they were real people this time who happened to read about Ed's visits to them and helping with their technology; [outrageous accusation]
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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "2007 Update":

You're a sad case mate - [person/place] indeed. Walter Mitty, eat your heart out.

LMAO
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John has left a new comment on your post "2007 Update":

But why did you lie in your initial post Ed ? .

And does this mean that we can't believe any of your posts ?
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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "2007 Update":

I'm guessing all comments were deleted that had any reference to the truth in the matter. [person] of [place] has said on their own website that he doesn't know you and you have never seen the tech they supposedly have.

This comment has no reference to names or places. Will this be deleted? Remember, that a bunch of people will see this before you get a chance to delete it. Deleting it will only hurt your credibility even more. You'd do better to answer the accusations, rather than hide them. Because the latter you simply can't do.
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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "News ban":

Is Dr. [person] still working for [company] ?
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2007 Update

2007-03-17T00:31:00.000-04:00

The news ban about the lost island of Antilla has been lifted.. Unfortunately the news that I can now report is not interesting. This is no lost island.. There's nothing all that special about it other than the unusual rock formation and air bubble (which slowly collapsed when a team started digging to find a sign of civilization). No one was hurt.

This next section was edited by the author to not include names or places, as there was an outrage created. Sometimes people do not realize they have friends in their very midst.

I'm still abroad investigating some exciting technology that I've seen with my own eyes, and although I'm not a physicist, my considerable scientific knowledge tells me that they have something here. A group of scientists must first verify their claims publically and then the world can change..

The world wants free energy, but the people in charge of the world certainly do not! Free energy would allow us to ship all of our garbage into the sun, reverse all the damage we've done to this earth, live in our own floating cities, terraform mars into an earth-like environment in a fraction of the time that we otherwise could have and much more (like infinitely running cars, phones, computers, planes, lights).

News ban

2006-08-12T16:08:00.000-04:00

Unfortunately I'm not longer able to report on this island, due to a jurisdictional edict issue by , but it's still exciting.. I've now jetted off to Ireland, as an associate of mine (Dr. Brenan, working at Steorn Corp.) has been working on my favorite subject.. Unlimited energy, and is showing very promising (and impossible) results!

I've found the island

2006-08-09T16:26:00.000-04:00

Very excited!! This island is not above water, it's an island under water but with a partial atmosphere! From the looks of things it sank some ages ago and miraculously was somehow covered by a rock dome. There's plants of various sorts (the ones that grow in the dark), and even some slightly luminous plants. Will have more when I'm back at a computer, including hopefully pictures.

Lost Island of Antilla

2006-08-07T14:03:00.000-04:00

I've discovered some interesting markings on one of the pieces of the Collossus of Rhodes.. This piece I located in Spain after one of the associates of the archeologists mentioned something about his great grandfather keeping a huge similar looking rock fragment in his basement (we had hauled a non-descript piece out of the sea). I immediately left for Spain with my team to investigate. What the experts discovered was extradordinary -- what looked like part of a map of the lost Island of Antilla. This map was no ordinary looking map according to the historian we had on our team. Most maps place the island 320km west of the Azores archipelago, in the middle of the Atlantic.. However this map seems to indicate elsewhere!

Lebanon is a horrible place

2006-08-01T23:46:00.000-04:00

I took a little flight from central Asia to Egypt to see what I could do about getting some Canadians home from Lebanon... I tried to charter an entire Egyptian cruiseship, but they wouldn't let me. Apparently people had already made reservations and they couldn't be broken! Ahhh well.. So I chartered the largest ship I could find -- a big bad RORO barge that could hold 200 cars and 500 people. I set sail from Port Said (which is about 160km from Cairo) with a helecopter chartered for me flying Canadian flags, incase there was some trouble in Lebanon.. Unfortunately the whole damn ship sank on the way and the crew and I barely made it to the helecopter.. Apparently someone left the car loading door open, but amazingly enough we made it almost all the way to Lebanon without it sinking (or without anyone noticing it was open).. I guess that's what happens when you have 3 crew members on a ship that normally carries 100. I've currently sought shelter in Rhodes at the Atrium Palace Hotel.. This was the only hotel I could pay them extra to 'lose' other people's reservations.. Apparently it's high-tourist season here and all the hotels were booked. Well I'm not a tourist!! I'm trying to save people.. Tomorrow I'm going to hire a team of experts to help me find some of the remains of the Collossus of Rhodes (while I wait for another ferry to sink, which is enroute from Turkey..)

Racist?

2006-07-16T13:05:00.000-04:00

Not me! I just read that 'Ching Chong' is an ethnic slur directed at the Chinese, but used mostly in the US and Australia.. Being of Canadian descent I claim ignorance in the use of wording for my previous post, which was ages ago.

Since then I've been to and from various of these far eastern sovernities, although the recent troubles with North Korea have me wondering why I'm dealing in this part of the world at all... I've been back to Canada only once, in early-mid June for a high-level secretive meeting in Ottawa at the Brook Street Resort. I certainly can't divulge in a public forum what happened at the Bilderberg conference, but lets just say that a great deal of desisive progress was made...

The Tomohawk reactor work is coming along nicely and is nearly ready for a real-world test to see if it can general unlimited power, or burn a hole into the core and throw earth off of its axis forever...

Ching Chong China

2006-03-31T13:48:00.000-05:00

I've been in China for many months, and have been unable to publish my blog from there due likely to their hatred for citizens publishing bad things about them.. I have no problem flying to adjacent countries soley for the purpose of writing an entry, but I've just been so busy with overseeing a secret new power venture, and no it's not that crazy cold fusion! My Cold Fusion Labratories (BC) Inc. is likely on the verge of chapter 11 anyway.. :(

I've always been interested in infinite power for free. It would revolutionize the world. This new style of generating power is a little dangerous though, should anything go wrong the contraption could conceivably burn a hole all the way to the core of the earth, leaving melted devistation in a 100KM radius on the surface as well as huge plumes of evapourated earth spewing into the air.

Wish us luck!!!

Zzzzzzealand

2005-12-28T12:34:00.000-05:00

New Zzzzealand was a snore for Christmas. I spent it with Priscilla and the dog, instead of partying all night long like I had imagined. Unfortunately with age comes great responsibility (or is it the other way around).

I'm heading to new york for new years eve, I just can't get enough of that The Mole host CNN guy.. (Andrian Cooper or something)

Happy New YEar!

Merry Jesus Time

2005-12-22T21:02:00.000-05:00

It's nearly Christmas! I'm abroad celebrating Christmas in New Zealand this year, I just can't get enough of this place.

Old Friends

2005-10-11T16:20:00.000-04:00

A few old friends that had heard of my misforunte abroad came to visit me in the hospital and apparently were talking to me as though I could hear him. I don't think people in comas process voices from the outside world while they're in comas, and I was no different.. We got together this past weekend for a game of cards. I managed to win $14500! Susan was a little pill about me winning all this money. She claims that I have more money than all of them put together will ever make in their lifetimes.
But I sincerely doubt that! Susan is the late wife of a forestry magnate!, and I managed to win most of the $15k from her! haha Susan! I never really liked her! I hope she doesn't read this blog!

Reward

2005-10-11T16:11:00.000-04:00

Offering $100000 to the provider of information leading to the arrest of crazy taxi driver that ran over me in Malaysia!

Email me at
-- e w i n d e r m e r e (AT) g m a i l (DOT) c o m --

Ouch

2005-10-09T11:34:00.000-04:00

Before building a 5 star hotel in Canada, I took a short trip to Malaysa to take a peak at some 5 stars. Unfortunately while I was walking from my horrible parking spot to the mid valley megamall (Why do all these places have western names?). I was reportedly run down by a taxi driver that was a few sandwiches short of a picnic. I woke up some months later, luckily back in Toronto!!! I wouldn't have wanted to be in a coma for a quarter of a year in that hole, I'm a truely lucky fellow. I'm not as spry as I once was, but I suspect I'll be limber and nimble again after a few more months...

They never found the taxi driver.

ECFW

Canada Day

2005-07-01T23:12:00.000-04:00

Eurodive Industries is being investigated for some sort of accounting scandel.. I, of course, have nothing to do with that.. In other news, I've been in Europe for a while, but have returned to Canada (OTTAWA) for Canada Day. I'm at the Ottawa Westin.. Can you believe there's no 5 star resort in Ottawa? In fact there's not yet a five star resort in Canada!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to start a project to make one,hopefully before the Toronto Trump TOwer and the Vancouver Shangra-La's are to be completed. Which will both be 5-stars.

Edward

Yay!

2005-05-20T16:00:00.001-04:00

I received a report from an embassy official in China that the group that was after me has all been killed (drowned while scubadiving for some artifact in the caspian sea). So I can resume my 'normal' life!

I'm off this weekend to Rio for a summit on agriculture, it should be a blast!

P.S. I had nothing to do with selling these jerks faulty scuba gear through my Eurodive Industries unit...

Yay!

2005-05-20T16:00:00.000-04:00

Phew!!!

2005-04-19T16:30:00.000-04:00

I'm back in Canada, after having narrowly escaped death at the hands of some x-files-esque secret worldwide global entity... Apparently I struck a nerve in Tibet with my research.. I've expended considerable money in stay in hiding, and I'm not sure how long I can keep this up and still afford to live an extremely extravagant lifestyle.
I presume that the worldwide entity, lets call them the "Tibetan Twelve", are monitoring this very weblog so i can't mention much more.

The TT will pay for murdering my entire staff, whom I had grown to really enjoy over the last months.

!!!!!!!!!!

2005-04-04T16:53:00.000-04:00

I haven't been able to post for a very long time!!!

I'm on the run, from what I'm not sure.. My entourage has been all but destroyed, and I'm running out of time! For some reason the airport is closed!
I'm at an undisclosed embassy, but somehow I'm not sure it's safe

I'm back

2005-02-18T16:44:00.000-05:00

I've been undercover in the Tibetan hills searching for a long lost artifact, from the 13th century when Genghis Khan pseudo-ruled.

The currency here is the Yuan, which I've converted many US$ to for my adventure..

More soon, we're getting close!!! I can smell it!

2004-12-08T16:12:00.000-05:00

It's almost Christmas time, and with hardly any family left, I'm a little lonely. Although on a good note, my long lost son Charles made his way back into my life (although mostly for a renewal credit card, as the dates seemed to coincide). I haven't seen him in weeks. Although I have been in Arbua for the past several weeks too.

My grant in that new-fangled energy jazz hopefully is working out without me there spying on every expenditure.

Speaking of spying, the reason for me being in Aruba is strictly confidential, but I can tell you that I'm on the trail of a world-wide conspiracy. A good friend of mine alerted me to some suspicious stuff, so I'm on the trail..

2004-11-11T11:03:00.000-05:00

I'm still in Washington, I've been trying to think of crazy inventions that could possibly change the world... I don't fancy myself an inventor, but I want to have more of an effect than I have had in the past. Sure I hobknob with pseudo-dignitaries, but I've never done anything that's had much of an effect the world over..

So to that end I've been working with professor Boyo (mostly giving money) to further the development of a process similar to cold fusion!

here's how it works.

Bad day

2004-11-03T14:19:00.000-05:00

It's been a very bad day for me, my 'boss' tried to tell me that if I want to work on the project I had to be in at least 4 days a week. I asked him if he'd like to finish this project on his own without my expertise, he didn't like that, so I'm no longer employed there. Also president bush won, whom I don't care for. I'm off to Washington this evening for a bush celebration party (I won't tell them at the door that I was hoping he'd lose).

Good riddance ING!

2004-10-19T13:09:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since my last post. I've been in Toronto for a month or so working at ING Direct (believe it or not). I ran into an old friend and I'm really excited about what they're coming out with! I expect to be back in London in the new year to continue with my 'retirement'.

In other news, my long lost son whom I haven't spoked with in ages has finally decided to talk to his good old pal Dad again. Little Edward (Charles) Jr. finally forgave me for allowing his mother to drown while scuba diving off the coast of Cuba. Certainly it wasn't my fault and I feel terrible for it. She shouldn't have taken the yacht out drunk on rum punches. :(

2004-09-17T13:23:00.000-04:00

Republicana Dominican

2004-09-14T16:13:00.000-04:00

I'm in the Dominican Republic this week on some undisclosed business.
There sure are a lot of people willing to sex themselves for money!

2004-09-07T15:21:00.000-04:00

The symposium was a disaster, there were protesters! Why would people want to protest a clean burning effectively limitless energy? Must have been the oil companies paying bums to protest through a blind party. I'll have to investigate. That's not the only thing that went wrong... We ran out of wine!! Although when you offer unlimited wine to a bunch of crackpots and their jack-ass associates that'll tend to happen. Otherwise I think we got the word out that Cold Fusion isn't a joke.

Cold Fusion

2004-09-03T13:28:00.000-04:00

I've always been interested in Cold Fusion ever since that provacative movie with Morgan Freeman and that Keanu guy. So I've been working with witch doctors and crackpot scientists to host the First Annual Canadian Cold Fusion Symposium at the regal Vancouver Convention & Exhibition Centre. The menu is what I'm excited about the most!

The 300+ attending scientific and political dignitaries will be treated to a delightful meal -- Starting with Alaskan King Crab, Local Hotate Scallop and Spot Prawn Saffron Soup, followed by Slices of T Smoked Duck Breast on Frisée Salad with Blueberry Vinaigrette, followed by a tastey Apple Sorbet with Cider Splash, then Grilled Grain-Fed Veal Chop with Chanterelles Potato and Endive Cream with Baby Vegetables, and for dessert Caramelized Choux Pastries with Grand Marnier Cream Filling or Cointreau Chocolate Truffles. The coffee is of the freshly brewed barista variety or imported tea.

This event is tomorrow night, I'll have a report on the conclusion of the symposium. Luckily I don't have to pay for this event all on my own and will mostly be a business expense of Andrew Scientific Enterprises Corporation.

2004-09-02T10:54:00.000-04:00

Dr. Wills made it to Athens and turns out the Temple of Zues is off limits to all. According to his report he also ran into Ms. Cross, whom was sleaziness around the authorities blocking access to the ruins, trying to get in. Satisfied that she hadn't found anything yet, and perhaps wasn't working for the enemy, John is returning to Canada. I'm still a little leery. Especially since Charles Winhamthorpe is leering at me through his kitchen window. He apparently didn't forgive me for crashing my car into his pool and then threatening to expose his infidelity to his wife if he sued.

2004-09-01T13:36:00.000-04:00

Today is Tuesday. I've been disturbed about Athens ever since my return so I hired a tomb raider named Lara Croft, errr Lanthia Cross is her name, what are the chances? I received a report from her today that she could not find any underground cavern underneith the Temple of Zeus. I suspect that she's in cahoots with my arch enemy Charles Winhamthorp, and they've discovered riches or something beneith there. I've since hired a new tomb raider named Dr. John Wills, who's also my chauffer with an honourary doctorate in international mischief. We'll get to the bottom of this yet!

2004-08-26T14:10:00.000-04:00

Greece hasn't fallen into the sea yet, and the ground wasn't shaking when I left, but I'll never go back!

2004-08-26T12:05:00.000-04:00

My Entourage and I have quickly departed Athens, and not because of the embarrassing performance of the Canadians!!

I was down at the Temple of Zeus this morning, as I'd never actually been!! (Believe it or not), but the weirdest thing happened that sent me scurrying from Athens, and writing in my bloc from first-class.
I was admiring the Corinthian style of the ruins when I tripped over some stupid fallen pillar (apparently it was blown over in some wind storm 150 years ago) anyway, I hit my scepter on the base of the platform and cracked the marble floor bad enough that a chunk dislodged and fell down below! There was a passageway underneath!!! I quickly called my aide to bring me a flashlight, rope ladder, and a mini pick axe. I broke open the hole large enough to descend into the darkness.

It was a 3 metre drop to the middle of a staircase leading down.. I was very excited for this unexpected turn of events. With my aide in tow we proceeded down the stairs and that's when he turned and ran out of there screaming all the way up the ladder. I thought there might be a monster around the corner so I took out my cell phone and had 911 pre-dialed!! There on the wall were the words in burgundy (and Greek) "He who doesn't heed warnings will know on Aug 26 2004 (Dies iovis xxvi augustus mmiv) the land will be swallowed by the sea and all will perish". I followed my aide up the ladder, checked out of the cruise ship and fled back to North America. Turned out my aide Timothy was just frightened by a huge rat, he couldn't read Greek.

2004-08-11T15:01:00.000-04:00

Sharon Stone (who can't direct), started to direct a movie at my newly purchased Historic Windermere House. She's a big smoker as we all know and she managed to raze the whole estate to the ground! I've decided to bulldoze it into the lake and use the insurance money for something else. Illustrious Windermere Park will take the place of the old Windermere House.

In other news, I've arrived in Athens with my entourage of friends. We're staying on the Queen Mary II, due to security concerns. Apparently this boat can detect swimmers approaching in the water!! Wow! This ship is one of the biggest passenger ships in the world (and ever built, if not the biggest), it has 15 restaurants and bars, 5 swimming pools, a casino and even a planetarium! It was a mere $800 Million to build, back in 2003.

2004-07-30T10:36:00.000-04:00

I decided to buy the Windermere house in Windermere, Ontario, since my name is Edward Windermere!

It was very expensive. 2.8Million $$$!
(Windermere House)

2004-07-23T13:02:00.000-04:00

Fluffles ran away :(
I bought a new cat named Puffles-McCuddlypuff.

My neighbour agreed to drop the charges after I threatened to tell his wife about his late night randezvous while she's off at her Antarctic lab (Halley Research Station).

2004-07-21T15:27:00.000-04:00

Why are people so stupid? My neighbour, the worthless Charles Winhamthorpe Jr., is sueing me for driving my car through his fence and into his above ground pool!
If he had an in-ground pool then there wouldn't have been so much damage (to his property).!

2004-07-12T13:06:00.000-04:00

I bought a new cat yesterday, named Fluffles the cat.

2004-07-08T14:43:00.000-04:00

We got back to Toronto on Tuesday. Priscilla was out maxxing her Regent Platinuum card on cheap thrills. England is always a hoot, too bad about the mugger that stole all of Priscillas jewels and cards. Poor thing was trapped in the rain all the way to the Canadian embassy without a cellphone or luxory!

2004-07-02T13:58:00.000-04:00

Canada Day was a hoot in England! Priscilla disappeared somewhere, the harlet! I went to the convent garden to celebrate Canada Day at The Maple Leaf pub! The street was closed off due to the amounts of people celebrating there.

I met some new friends and potentially some profitable business partners from Canada.

We fly out as soon as Priscilla returns from her 'walk-about'. I think perhaps she's caught a bit of the crazy. We're staying at the modest Berkeley Hotel.

2004-06-30T18:01:00.000-04:00

A little drug addict stole my car on the weekend. Priscilla and I had to drive back to London in the SAME car! It's Canada day tomorrow, which means I'm flying to England to say hi to the Queen (not literally of course).

2004-06-25T16:23:00.000-04:00

This weekend Priscilla and I are off to Forest for a fund raiser for drug addicted children. Why do little drug addicts need money anyways? Doesn't make sense to me!
Sounds like they need less money! And where are they getting it from? There's no jobs in Forest!

2004-06-24T16:49:00.000-04:00

Priscilla has returned at long last. She managed to get by on a measly $100,000.00 that she found in her car. We've arranged a divorce for year-end citing irreconcilable differences.

2004-06-08T12:22:00.000-04:00

I ended my extended vacation and departed for Canada again at the end of may to see if I still had my old job and house and life.. Everything was in order, although I don't know where Priscella has gone. Hopefully she made it out of Egypt. I have instituted a search for her. My previously destroyed mansion has been repaired in my absence, and minus a few irreplaceable items everything is the same as it was before my lapse.

2004-05-28T16:57:00.000-04:00

I tried to go into amnesia

But I felt too old, so I left. I'm about to depart the Balearic Islands, where for yet, I don't know.

2004-05-10T13:50:00.000-04:00

I've just now for the first time read my weblog in its entirety. I had a strong urge to delete many entries, especially entries where horrible things were purported to have happened. I must admit that during my decline I used some questionable substances for several weeks which caused me to have severe hallucinations. My chauffeur at the time confirms that none of the atrocities (like running over children) actually happened.

2004-05-10T13:37:00.000-04:00

It's a rainy morning here in Auckland, and I've awaken with the chickens. (It's just after 5am here). I'm at the French Cafe, a delightful place with an extensive wine list! Although it is much too early to drink wine, it's even too early for the place to be open -- but I've made friends with the owner, which is the reason for missing my flight. Rachael wasn't interested in traveling the world with me, perhaps I have much more growing up to do?

I've decided to take a last minute trip to Ibiza. I was originally scheduled to fly to Rome, boring old Rome. Perhaps I'll reclaim some of my lost childhood in Ibiza?

2004-05-07T11:52:00.000-04:00

I'm deparing Christchurch tomorrow for Auckland, pending departure to somewhere else in the world. I would have liked to visit New Zealand longer, as it's such a wonderous country, too bad about running into that lighthouse...

I've had an amazing time here, seen all the sights, tours, skydove, waterskiied, drank, theatred'd, etc.. I've invited Rachael with me on my next excursion, I await her answer.

2004-05-04T16:49:00.000-04:00

I still don't know why it's called Christchurch, there doesn't seem to be more churches here than anywhere else. (or more religious people)...

Christchurch is "The Garden City"... Does any New Zealand city not have a 2nd name?

Here's a picture of a church! (pic)

2004-04-26T13:46:00.000-04:00

I've made some friends here. (Although it's easy when you offer to pay for everything).
Jonathan Langer, Jim Waltraud, and Rachael Parco. Unfortunate they seem to always have a hankering for the alchohol. Just this past weekend we all got hammered and decided to drive to the end of the island. We made it to the tip at long last! (pic). (After staying the night at the adequate Harbour House Villa.

Later in the day on Sunday we somehow managed to get into a rental car race (I rented a car for each of us). And this previously historic lighthouse was no more. lighthouse). We fled the scene so I didn't have time to take a picture of the ruined version... down 1 rental car, we decided to flee to the south island, where no one would think to look for us..

Later this week I'll have to tell the rental car company I liked the car so much that I've decided to keep it. My Quantum Platinuum Titanium Diamond Visa should be able to take the hit...

I'm currently in Christchurch, I wonder if it's very religous here...?

2004-04-13T09:54:00.000-04:00

I flew into Auckland, New Zealand yesterday! It truely is the city of sails!

2004-04-08T16:17:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted anything in quite some time. I'm about ready to rid myself of Alaska, after causing everyone to hate me in this town (Kodiak). I did manage to leave my legacy though. Windermereia Inn, Winery & Ristorante.
Windermereia was the original spelling of my last name, according to some historical records I chanced upon. It might just be the nicest inn/winery/restaurant in all of Alaska! Unfortunately the preliminary financials indicate it a disastrous failure, but I'm confidant my immense wealth can keep it afloat for the rest of eternity.

I depart for New Zealand. I've only been a few times on business, but since the Lord of the Rings movies, I've wanted to see the countryside again!

2004-02-17T14:18:00.000-05:00

Apparently the townsfolk don't like their pretty forest cut down. I've received several complaints and an emergency town meeting is scheduled for this afternoon to discuss my purchase.

2004-02-16T12:57:00.000-05:00

I've recently departed Bolivia for Alaska. I used to have a penpal when I was a kid from Kodiak Alaska. So I chartered a private jet to fly me there.

A beautiful place (mostly in the summer, I'd guess) since it's all frozen now. Perhaps I'll stay here until Spring, and then buy a yacht and tour the region. Currently I'm in Chiniak, 40 or so miles away from Kodiak. A tiny little town, I'm finding it quite relaxing. I've had a bulldozer tearing down a whole bunch of useless trees so I can build Windermere's Inn. The restaurant here is ghastly http://p.vtourist.com/635495.jpg. The cost is quite prohibitive since it's the dead of Winter.

2004-01-20T23:02:00.000-05:00

Madrid was awful, just like everywhere else I ever go, Money doesn't make you happy or not bored.

Since, I've toured South America, to get a bit of a change.
I haven't accidently ran over anyone down here. Currently I'm in La Paz in Bolivia, the city that touches the sky. Near the border with Peru. Unfortunately for some, this is one of the poorest Cities in the world, which is why it's so interesting..

I'm staying at the Columbus Palace Hotel.
hahah it's not a Palace! It's only a 3 star, however, it appears to be the best place in this dive of a town... Private bathroom is apparently a luxory in hotels around here!

I was in the witches market the other day, I had to flee, gagging, back to my Hotel, at the horrors that I witnessed. (Some sort of animal fetuses for sale was the first gag-inducing sight.)

2003-11-13T16:51:00.000-05:00

Lots of things have happened since I last wrote.. I escaped from the company and their lackeys who have chased me all the way this far south....

I had another car issue, involving a nanny. I'm now in Madrid. Luckily the car which was involved in a 'situation' was rented under someone else's name.

2003-10-29T12:14:00.000-05:00

They're on to me, I spied my 'boss' (Head of AE Int Corp) lurking about the streets of Las Vegas this past weekend. I quickly hired a rickshaw to take me back to the Bellagio (I tired of the lack lustrousness of the MGM Grand) and quickly departed town. The Californian wildfires are amazing from the air!! I'm now in LA, finally at the Ritz Carleton for the time being.

2003-10-14T16:50:00.000-04:00

A terrible tragedy has occurred, my new companion limo driver has been injured, foul play is suspected. I'm not taking any changes and headed to Las Vegas, ditched the limo and checked into the MGM Grand to hide out for the time being -- in style.

2003-09-28T20:13:00.000-04:00

I've grown tired of Newyork, especially after I threw an entire tray of food out my 22nd story window onto some unsuspecting oriental tourists. I ordered (in my suite) medium medium well done on my 24oz porterhouse steak dinner and they brought it to me medium well! I quickly departed the region to avoid any legal charges. I've hired a limo to take me to LA. (I could use the time to think about just what has happened to cause this distressing change in my life). I haven't heard a peep from Prescilla, perhaps she's back at work now that she has no money. Errr, I hope she made it out of Egypt.! Perhaps I'll send a helecopter for her!

2003-09-25T14:18:00.000-04:00

I've had to leave the prestigious Waldorf here in London England, because that resourceful bloak from accounting, Keith Turner, tracked me down somehow, apparently I haven't cashed my pay cheques from AE in 15 months!! Who knew it wasn't direct deposit?!

I'm now on a newly acquired laptop on one of the last flights of the Concorde, on my way to Newyork. I've grown rather fond of hotels with the name Waldorf, so I'm off to the Waldorf Astoria in Manhattan.

I hope my Executive Assistant is taking care of business while I'm on my leave from the company.

2003-09-02T16:16:00.000-04:00

I'm writing from London England, I decided that I couldn't give up traveling and that I'd rather be stuck in a mineshaft than not be able to travel....

My dear wife Priscilla slept around while I was slowly dying in Norway, I've shipped her away on a train to Egypt (and she thinks I'm meeting her there). But instead I'm canceling her credit cards, and leaving her there to get back on her own dime! We'll see how she likes spending her own money from now on.

I was so mad when I secretly found out about her debauchery that I left in the middle of the night for Europe without telling anyone. I'm sure my associates have noticed me missing and instituted a world-wide search by now. I'm hiding out at the prestigious Le Meridien Waldorf, where no one will find me.

2003-08-29T10:55:00.000-04:00

I just returned from being trapped in a mine shaft in Norway! And I haven't been able to update my weblog! I guess I shouldn't try to help people anymore, terrible things always seem to happen when I do. Luckily the mine collapse wasn't severe and it didn't even make the national news.

2003-05-13T01:13:00.000-04:00

Just got back from China, I was in quarantine for a month! I couldn't update my weblog and AE must have almost fallen to pieces! No one found out about my little car accident a month ago. Priscilla is in Rio getting her hip replaced (she fell on her hip from her 3rd floor balcony while drunk on schnapps).

2003-04-07T11:04:00.000-04:00

I had an interesting weekend. My poor 2002 Ferrari 360 Modena Spider took a beating, I was laughing at an old man that had slipped on ice on the sidewalk, in my fit of laughter I accidentally hit the button to remove the roof of my car, an icicle fell off a stop light (at Dufferin & Richmond) hitting me in the face and I ran a priest into the side of the Xerox building in my blindness... What an old man, and a priest were doing out and about in the dead of night early Saturday morning was a mystery to me, so I screeched away.

2003-03-20T15:49:00.000-05:00

I ran into Tim Thomas while at the hospital. God I hate him, last year at the Chamber of Commerce's annual spring gala he kicked a soccer ball and it hit me in the head, breaking my rimless cartier titanium sunglasses. So I punched him in his stupid nose. And ran out to my car.

2003-03-20T13:47:00.000-05:00

I dropped a pencil and it stabbed me in the foot! Off to the hospital >:(

2003-03-16T16:47:00.000-05:00

What a drab weekend! Other than my tea luncheon with a local church official at the Regent Exuberant Courtyard Hall, nothing much else has happened. I bought a BMW so I wouldn't be short on cars now that my Mercedes is in the shop, but that has lost its excitement.

2003-03-13T23:59:00.000-05:00

Priscillia crashed my blue mercedies into a ditch (again). Luckily I wasn't in the car this time. She's outraged at mercedes-benz, blaming them for purposely making their cars go too fast for their drivers' own good.

2003-03-13T23:29:00.000-05:00

I've started a bit of a web log this eve to publicize all the exciting details of my illustrious existance